Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Emotional Rollercoaster

We have barely just begun this journey, and I am confused at how unloved it feels when HoH does not make corrections. It feels like he doesn't care enough to put out the effort.

I left a huge mess on the floor.  Why? I am lazy, I was feeling a little depressed about feeling distant, and I was engulfed in hurt.  HoH came into the room, picked up the mess, and left.  No lecture. No spanking. No reconnecting/being taken care of afterward.  Oh, and also no spank to get back on track after feeling distant.

Truthfully, I secretly wonder if this means I am screwed up.  Why is getting a spanking the thing that brings us back?  Am I really feeling upset that I did NOT get spanked?  Why didn't he spank me? Does he not really want this? Am I reading too much into this, and if so, why do I instinctively feel this way?

On the other hand, it would have been so comforting for him to care enough to follow through. It would have meant he wanted us back on track. It would have meant he wants to continue to be a good leader.  It would have meant I could have felt better about everything that has transpired.


  1. Please know you are NOT alone in your feelings! I don't know a single dd wife who doesn't feel this way. There may be a few, but I don't know any :-)

  2. Thanks, River Wild. Good to know I am not alone in feeling this way!

  3. I agree with River. When he seems not to notice we feel like he might just not care. Be careful not to brat (doing things wrong on purpose to get his attention). Sometimes, like anyone, he can be distracted, may notice but it didn't click. If it is still bothering you tomorrow, tell him.

    1. Thanks for the advice. I try hard not to brat, but I sometimes think I tend to just pull away.