We have barely just begun this journey, and I am confused at how unloved it feels when HoH does not make corrections. It feels like he doesn't care enough to put out the effort.
I left a huge mess on the floor. Why? I am lazy, I was feeling a little depressed about feeling distant, and I was engulfed in hurt. HoH came into the room, picked up the mess, and left. No lecture. No spanking. No reconnecting/being taken care of afterward. Oh, and also no spank to get back on track after feeling distant.
Truthfully, I secretly wonder if this means I am screwed up. Why is getting a spanking the thing that brings us back? Am I really feeling upset that I did NOT get spanked? Why didn't he spank me? Does he not really want this? Am I reading too much into this, and if so, why do I instinctively feel this way?
On the other hand, it would have been so comforting for him to care enough to follow through. It would have meant he wanted us back on track. It would have meant he wants to continue to be a good leader. It would have meant I could have felt better about everything that has transpired.