Maintenance Spanking

You may not know, but I have been coughing for about 2 months now, and have been experiencing extreme exhaustion for a few months. I have had in-depth blood work done and other tests for the exhaustion, but the coughing is fairly new. Today I had to use the inhaler a few times to be able to catch all of my breath.  (Not to worry! Doctor appointment on Tuesday for the cough!)

This did not stop HoH from directing me to stand up, pull my pants down, and lean over the bed.  I protested the whole time. "What are you doing?  I don't feel well!"  He calmly explained that I was getting a maintenance spanking, and to do what he says.

Hand on the bare bottom. Ouch!

He didn't do a lot of them, but they were all in the same spot on the same cheek. Outside the bedroom door, the dogs were going ballistic, trying to get in the room (at the sound of the smacks). They ended up turning on each other so the maintenance stopped a little early.

Well, friends...it instantly made me aroused. Out of nowhere, I wanted HoH's manhood in my hand, or my mouth, or inside of me.  I wanted the crop out, and I wanted to feel its sting on my nipples. I started having great fantasies that involved me looking hot (not with my hair sticking out and pale like I look at this scary moment!). Yes, that is all it took, a maintenance spank - to put me in the mood, and in submissive mode.

Easy Street

If only it were so  easy...five lessons, and suddenly it would all fall into place. The lack of resistance. The enthusiastic fulfillment of his needs. The "Yes, dear" rolling off the tongue, coupled with "Can I grab you a beer? Scotch on  the rocks? A little cock-sucking?"  If only five little lessons could do that.

I wonder what the five lessons are.  Any ideas?

The ON in Connection

Sex alone can be a good connector when a couple is feeling disconnected.  Spanking can also be a good connector when a couple is feeling disconnected.  But the Spank-Sex combo...well, that, my dear friends, is the *real* connector!

Coming off the two-spank day, and adding a little hot sex into the mix, really does the job. It makes me want to perform acts of submission. It makes me want to go new places with it, even though I am hesitant to try something new in the submission department.

And it makes me have an insatiable sexual appetite. I just want it, or really, want my own pleasure-play where he is involved in making it happen.  For that slice of time, I cannot get enough, and it cannot be dirty enough, and it cannot be rough enough..I just want hot, dirty, rough, submissive sex.

There. I wrote it. Back in my turtle shell.

Outta the Groove

It only took being away for the weekend for all the wonderful submissive progress I have made to sort of disappear.  I have been sick - exhausted, sore throat, nauseated - and my mouth has been full of accusations, anger, snide remarks, and not an ounce of submissiveness.

HoH has been confused about what to do.  He doesn't want to spank me while I am sick. On the other hand, I feel like he is more interested in trying to "get off" than do what I think a good HoH should do: Take care of and baby me when I am sick.

This disconnect, and the failure of the my expectation being met, has turned me into a class A bitch.  I am pretty sure my bottom needs to look like this.

Practicing Submission

Submission is not my normal state. I am a leader, and one who enjoys organizing, accomplishing, planning, and producing. I do that in the work place, in my religious life, and in my volunteer work. A lot of people rely on me, and I enjoy the benefit of self-satisfaction when I accomplish my goals. Traditionally, at home, I also had a strong voice, and exercised control over that area of my life. Therefore, submissiveness has been a challenge for me.

I do find submission in the bedroom to be much easier than out of the bedroom. In the bedroom, there is something electrifying about having to do what one is told, or be touched at will, or not being the director of the scene. I have been trying to stretch myself in that area, doing things I don't really want to do but doing so anyway because my HoH would find it pleasing.  Even typing that makes me on some level cringe, and on some level be proud at my growth in this area. Some of the things I have done to try to tap into my submissiveness in the bedroom:

Had sex in the closet with the door shut and while the light in there was off when I was trying to get ready. Usually, I would say "Not now!" but I just turned to face the shoe rack and hold on, took my panties down, and let him enter me.

He asked me to retrieve a paper he asked me to throw away (I delegated it to my daughter), he discreetly shut the door and told me to carry it in my mouth, and crawl it to the trash can. I complied.

Without him asking, I shaved my entire nether region even though I HATE HATE HATE it like that. I did it to show him that I can and will submit to his will even though he didn't specifically ask.

I told him he had my permission to do what he wanted with or to me when I was sleeping last night. This is a big step for me, to give consensual non-consent. Again, I did this to show him that his pleasure is important, that my body is his to do with what he want, and that I trust him with my body.  He touched me while I slept, came all over my bottom, then rubbed it in to my bottom and back.

I have asked a few times, is there anything I can do for you? Is there anything you want me to do? Do you want a back rub? Can I get you anything?  This is NOT my normal default mode!

I have taken the initiative to look around for kink hotels that we could stay at if we ever get any extra money, and then I showed him the various rooms and what they look like.

I started a Pinterest page with things that I think would interest him, like Rope Work photographs, spanked photographs, lingerie photographs, erotic furniture/implements photographs, etc. Soon, when it is more populated, I will share the site with all of you in case you are interested in following it.