Cracks and Belts

There is a minor detail that I left out of my back story. More like major detail. And one I don't care to reveal at this time. I can tell you that it is a painful part of our marriage, and I am still trying to overcome the pain associated with it.  Often times, I feel as if I am cracked, and will never feel repaired. I second guess the decision to give this marriage another chance. I call these my Sad Days.

Yesterday was a Sad Day. HoH and I fought, processed, discussed, argued, and it all led to hurt feelings, moments of hopelessness, and bad juju.  We carried on this way all the way until bedtime. I knew we did not want to go to bed hurt and feeling this way.  I suggested that he find a way to get a lecture out of this, spank me, and then we could have sweet sex (instead of our usual rough -n- dirty stuff).  I knew I was going to have trouble getting over-the-hump to feel close before bed. HoH didn't really want to spank me because of all the hurt I was feeling. I asked him to find a way.

He gave me a lecture about creating distance between us, and said he was going to spank me because I had widened that gap. He decided upon 8 licks with a belt. This was a first time for the belt.  I bent over the bed, and he pulled down my pants and underwear.  Oh sweet sting!

Afterwards, we tried our hardest to have nice, sweet lovemaking...but it only degraded into slut talk and rough sex. No complaints here.

The back story:

First the Bedroom
After over 20 years of marriage, and a terrible sex life for most of it, my husband and I discovered something in the bedroom that worked for us - for him to take control and for me to play a submissive role.  It has been exciting and the best sex we have ever had in our marriage. Being a feminist, one would think that wouldn't work for me. But, for whatever reason, it does. I enjoy giving up the control, and trusting him to take care of my needs.  I enjoy erotic humiliation, light pain, giving up some of the control, and a little roughness; he enjoys being in charge, light bondage, and lingerie/dressing up. While my husband would love our dom/sub relationship (for lack of a better description) to be 24/7, at this point, I am only interested in it for bedroom time.

The Household
In searching to learn a little more about the ways in which we were engaging in the bedroom, I came across a website for domestic discipline. The non-Religious form of it.  I was intrigued!  Spanking! Correction for things that are detrimental to the relationship! Submitting to that discipline but retaining one's autonomy within the relationship!  Yes...I wanted to give this a try. I discussed with my husband, and he agreed that he would like to give it a try. From this point on, I will refer to him as HoH (head of household).

What This Looks Like
Submissive relationship in the bedroom
Domestic Discipline outside of the bedroom
Blog to record this new adventure
Connection to a stronger degree with my husband

This is our journey...which started YESTERDAY!