Sunday, September 28, 2014

Paddling in the Tears

Today was a tiny breakthrough.  For the first time ever, I cried during a spanking.

The day started off great, but at one point, we disagreed about something involving one of our children, and the ensuing debate (he called it an argument) got a little heated. He left the room in a huff after raising his voice at me.

Once he calmed down, we descended to the basement to the Spank Room.  The paddle came out. The lecture consisted of him retelling how it came that he yelled, his apology for raising his voice, his view that I was not listening but rather over-talking him, and that since this was not going to be a part of our relationship, a spanking must happen.

The pants went down.

The underwear went down.

My belly went down so that I was leaning over a storage bench.

Once in position, the warm up started. The warm up HURT. Once the real spanking started, it was a little unbearable. I started sobbing. Begging. Turning.  Crying some more. Begging some more. Turning some more.  When it was all said and done, I got a few extras for not staying still.

When I got up, and he brought me to his arms, I continued crying. I couldn't stop. A "release" (for lack of a better word) occurred, and the tears flowed. First time ever during a spanking.

It was cleansing.



10 comments:

  1. Punishments are never fun. It took me quite awhile before I let go of control enough to where I cried during a spanking. It is a cleansing feeling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never thought of it that way - letting go of control so that one can cry during the punishment. Hrmmm! That makes total sense. :)

      Delete
  2. Awww.... crying is always cleansing. And necessary at various times. Some would say that the point of a spanking is always for the cleanse and while I am not in that camp, I definitely get the appeal.

    I hope this went how you wished and that the two of you are feeling part of a team again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Kitty. :) I think it was necessary in that moment for sure.

      Delete
  3. Parenting issues are the hardest for me when it comes to submission. I have learned to choose my words carefully though, and to remember that he always has everyone's best interests at heart. I'm glad that crying helped you. Sometimes it's just what you need.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me, too. My parenting instinct kicks in, and unfortunately, I have not yet mastered choosing my words carefully. I am working on it, though!

      Delete
  4. I agree with jslittlelady. For me it isn't the pain of the spanking that causes the tears. It is the pain that is different enough to bring me OUT of my head that lets the walls (control) come down and the emotions out. Good for both of you. It took me WAY longer to get to that point in our relationship!

    Willie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that makes so much sense to me now - bring me OUT of my head (clearly it is hard for me to do that!). We have only gotten there once (!) but hopefully this ability to let go of the control enough to let my emotions out continues. It really was something good for me.

      Delete
  5. I agree with what Wilma said. The pain doesn't make me cry. It's the reason that will get to me. And in three years, I think that I have only cried a few times.

    ReplyDelete
  6. If you are to be the submissive, the control needs to be gone. Tears can always be faked to get out of a stern and painful spanking. Sobbing, however, is where I find my release. My HOH always spanks until the sobs are there because he then knows I am both genuinely remorseful and thoroughly cleansed.

    ReplyDelete