Wow. How many days has it been? How mouthy have I been? How many more ways could I unconsciously ASK him to re-take control? It happened. It was deserved, for sure. As always, it hurt like hell!
After a full day yesterday of mouthing off, and waiting in the room for my spanking, my HoH had moved on to another project - fixing the bed downstairs. It was almost time to pick the kids up from school, and each was having a friend to spend the night. I knew the formula: friends over = no spanking. After a couple of reminders, I was furious. With something like 5 minutes before we were to leave, I screamed down the stairs a culmination of all of my frustration: "Fine! If you aren't going to do DD then you aren't getting any f'ing kink in the bedroom!"
[Stomps loudly to the bedroom.]
Up the stairs he came, clear whack paddle in hand, and he grabbed my legs, twisted me to the side so that my bottom was in a position to be smacked, and then he gave a stern and angry lecture. He then allowed me to change positions to bending over the bed, and the whacking started. After something like 15 or so whacks that hurt, he announced that the warm up swats were over, and the real spanking would start.
After ten, I did the unthinkable - I reached back. He told me to put my hands back down, and that I just got 3 more added to the end. I put my hands down, took a deep breath, and repeated over and over in my head "Relax and accept. Relax and accept. Relax and accept." Pretty soon, he was at 25, and then I got the last three "extra" swats.
We hugged a long time afterwards, and I felt so much better to be over this hateful mouthy hump...to have received the spanking...to have him take the control back. Then he disclosed that he learned in the DD Chat that he was spanking too hard, and that is why he could only do 10 or so swats, and why it didn't hurt for very long afterwards. He learned that the whacks should be a bit lighter, and to go for more. They were right. My bottom was sore ALL NIGHT!
It feels good to feel loved. Cared for. Worth the effort. Back to being a better person. I hated my spanking, but I loved my spanking. I hope he will be swift in the future. Clearly I need it.