The hard thing about DD for us is that we are coming off a rocky time in our marriage, and things like TRUST and LEADERSHIP are hard for me to always grant to my HoH. Recently he made a few bad decisions, and quite frankly, I felt that I should be the HoH. How can he be the one I am supposed to trust, give my control to, and show respect/honor to? In light of these poor decisions HoH made, I felt that DD needed to be suspended. I mean, really, at the end of the day, how can I be submissive to someone who would be willing to risk the trust of his family with poor decisions. I also felt betrayed, hurt, upset, angry, sad, and hopeless. This lasted for days.
We have debated, fought, argued...he has admitted where he was wrong, apologized, and promised to do better/improve. I have struggled with what I want to do. It isn't always so cut and dry, this DD, especially when one has had a 22 year marriage, the last few years of which have been (understatement) complicated.
Today, I decided that I would try to move past this latest hiccup. He has been dying to spank me for reconnection reasons. He got to do that today. On the bed. Over clothes, then over underwear, then bare butt. By hand. I won't lie - I have missed it. The sweet sting was a welcome feeling, helping me to move forward.
We are back.